Manic Monday

I had to leave work early today, I couldn't stay out of the bathroom. I feel fine, just seem to need to check the bathroom very often. I am still waiting to hear from my professor about my internship. I am starting, well ok I am getting more anxious and worried about it. I talked to a friend of mine who had her baby a week ago. The baby was starting to improve for a while, but yesterday made a drastic turn for the worse. The Dr. told her there is a chance the baby will not make it. I hope and pray the baby will prove them wrong. My friend had another son pass away when he was 7 weeks old. I just don't understand. My heart goes out to her. Please keep my friend and her son in your thoughts and prayers.

Slow Sundays

WOW, what am I suppose to watch on TV today. No football game, Nascar hasn't started yet. Greg is watching some movies on Sci-fi. I am trying to work on laundry. I do plan on cleaning house today. I am trying to make changes on my blog, want to add links to other blogs I read, if I figure out how to do it, and I want to get permission to share those first. I can't believe how fast the weekend goes by.

Some Days are better than the ones before

Things here have been crazy. I am busy trying to start my internship. I had an interview at the juvenile detention center, was offered, but had to turn it down. If I were to go there, I would have to quit my job. I am now waiting to hear about another possible place to do it. Work is he** right now. They are changing so many things and some of the bosses are total assholes. They are moving to a new building, and are making new rules as they go along. When we get to the new building, anyone caught smoking will be fired. It don't matter if you are in your car or not. The only time we are able to smoke is during our lunch break, and we have to leave the property to do it. Half of the night shift smokes. Almost all of them have said they will get fired the first day we move.
Greg has had his tests done, and now we are waiting on the Dr. to get back with us to tell us the results. I try not to think and worry about it to much, but it is always in the back of my mind.

Calgone take me away !!!!

Some people have "one of those days", well it has been one of those weeks for me. I have been trying to get registered for my internship, and get things in order there so I can graduate in May. I only have to do 165 hours this semester, but trying to even start is like pulling teeth. On Top of all that, Greg went to the Dr this week, they can't get his blood pressure under control yet. He is on 4 different pills a day, some he takes 2 times a day. They now say he needs to be on inhalers. The Dr said she thinks something is preventing his meds from working right, his blood pressure is still really high. They ordered more blood work, and other tests to try to find out what is going on. They now say he has COPD, but that won't mess with his meds working. So I don't know. He goes to see a specialist on Feb. 13th. The Dr also said something may be wrong with his kidneys or even the liver. I am so worried about him. I try not to let him know how worried and scared I am, I don't want him to worry and make his blood pressure go up even more. I am now getting migranes almost daily because of the added stress. I will be fine once we find out what is going on, and how we can make it better. On top of all this our dryer belt broke and we dont have the money to get a new one, so I wash a load of clothes, and hang them in the bathroom to dry. I don't think I will ever catch up on laundry. This weekend I plan to just relax at home, get some cleaning done.

CAN YOU HEAR ME????

I have waited for this day all week. The Cowboys were playing for the divisional championship. I can't believe how many penalties were called!!! I sat here yelling and screaming at the TV, why is it they never listen to me???? Final play of the game.... need a touchdown to win the game and BOOM lets throw it where there are 2 opposing players covering just ONE of our guys.... INTERCEPTED!!!! Cowboys have played the giants 2 times this season...both times beating them. I sure hope there are some cowboys who loose their job tonight. So many stupid errors!!!! Now I am FURIOUS!!! they should have won that game... but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO lets see how many penalties we can have called against us.....


Oh well at least I have Nascar season starting again soon.

Life is so UNFAIR

Well the weekend is finally here. Nothing planned really except to watch football games. As for the reasoning for the title.... Last night I got off work early. There wasn't a lot of work, so I finished what I had to do and left. A few people from work was getting together to go out. I couldn't go with them, I didn't have the money. While I was sitting here, I sent a text message to one of the friends from work. I found out that another one was fired tonight. After I found that out, I had to call... no more texting. They fired her saying she stole money. This is OUTRAGEOUS!!! She is not the type of person to do this. She has been working there a few years and busted her ass for them. They have cameras up, but I don't think they are working. She is upset about this.... along with many other co-workers. From what i know... she did put some money in a feedback tray... told the supervisor about it.... and didn't think anymore about it. Well the money came up missing. Anyone could have taken it. There are many people who have access to the tray. Everyone knows where it is....anyone could have taken it. But since she was the last one who was known to have it, they fired her over it. If your dealing with large amounts of money, each and everyday, you have cameras up everywhere, please explain to me, why the cameras are not turned ON???? This place has money disappearing all the time, HELLO!!!! make sure the cameras are ON!!!! The company is loosing one hell of a worker over this. I just don't understand this. Each year, at this time, there are always people fired. Always for the same reason...stealing money. Some people are talking to the one who was fired Friday, telling her to get a lawyer about this. I really hope she does. Not to get her job back, but to not let the company continue to do this. This person wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her job, its not the best job in the world, but its a job. I have worked at several different places over the years, and I must say this is the worse job I have ever had. They are totally unorganized, a total lack of communication, and of course the bosses have their " picks" and it is very noticeable. Now I am not saying all this because I like the person who was fired, we have had our differences before. I have known others who have been fired, and I totally believe that yes, they did steal from the company. The one who was fired would do anything for anyone, she would give you the shirt off her back if you wanted it. I have worked there 5 years, and off all the people who they have fired, I can honestly say there are only 2 people who I think were fired who shouldn't have been. I really think the company is setting people up, who they just want to get rid of, just to get rid of them. I just hope this person gets a lawyer involved in this. I KNOW she didn't take the money.

Thoughtful Thursday

At times I am reminded how unfair life is. Not long ago I started reading different peoples blogs. I read some of those who are undergoing fertility treatments, hoping and praying they have better results than I did. As I sit and think, my second attempt, and first positive pregnancy test. That baby was due January 14th 2001. After my third beta test, it was discovered I wouldn't have that child. I know there was a chance of multiples, and at times wonder, if it worked, would there have been 1 baby, or maybe 2 or 3. While I read these other womens journey, I cheer when things go right, but i also shed tears when they don't. It breaks my heart. I know how painful it is to want a child, to go through so many invasive treatments, you dream and have such high hopes. When all of a sudden BOOM your world comes crashing down around you. I would look around and see women that are pregnant everywhere I went. Women having many kids without a bit of trouble. I live in a town that has an abortion clinic just a few blocks away. It breaks my heart seeing a woman go in. Knowing what happens. Why is it so easy for some women to get pregnant, while others its an unreachable dream. I know I have other options, and yes I still want to adopt when I finish college. The child may not have grown below my heart, that child will grown IN my heart. I haven't even started, but the love as already started to grow. Greg and I have talked about it, and we know who we want through when we adopt. I did contact them before, and still have the paperwork of things we have to do. There are so many kids out there who are unloved and unwanted. I can't wait to open my home and heart to them. I may have to eat these words later.... but I can't wait to get frustrated with mischievous behavior, change diapers, teenage rebellion... but also the fun family stuff there is. I don't want to mention names or anything, but I want to urge everyone who reads this to think about someone who is worse off then they are. Pray for them.... If you can't think of anyone.. pray for all those who are hurting, suffering, and facing challenges that may seem unbearable.Pray for those women who are going through fertility treatments, those who both received good news and bad news. Pray for the children that are suffering from life threatening illness and pray for the families who stand beside them. Pray for the children who don't have a "forever home". In this country there is so much hurt and pain. There is always someone who is worse off than you are. Tonight my thoughts and prayers go out to my family, my friends, those that are suffering and are hurting, those who have had dreams shatter right before their eyes, and those who are still reaching for their dreams.

Speaking of that. I want to update on my sis in law. She did have the procedure done, and is on bed rest for at least 2 more weeks. She is now almost 22 weeks. I just hope everything stays the way it is, I feel as though I am holding my breath and won't be able to breath again until she gets past 32 weeks. The Dr doesn't even know if she will carry that long. Right now they just want to get to 26 weeks, when the baby will have a chance. They are aiming for 32 weeks. Madison was a month early and she is healthy. I just hope this one is also. I am going to start buying things for him very soon. It is me or is it easier to buy for girls than it is boys. With Madison, I knew exactly what i wanted to get her and when.... with the little boy I am almost clueless besides trucks, and of course i have to make sure he has a football. He will have a Dallas cowboys football and clothes... hope they don't mind lol they don't want football, my sis in laws father is a Ravens fan... I just can't see my nephew wearing purple clothes.. Blue is a much better color... good reasoning works for me lol.

Midweek...

This week has been uneventful really. Work sleep work sleep work sleep. Fun fun lol. Well today we are getting Dish Network. They are hooking it up right now. After they are finished i get to go to work. Its crazy nothing really blogworthy just wanted to let everyone know i haven't dropped off the face of the earth.

Christmas Part 2

Today was a wonderful day. Greg and I went to visit my brother and sister in law and niece to exchange Christmas gifts and spend time together. We had a wonderful visit. I can't believe how big Madison has grown. Everything went well. We all sat and talked, I got on the floor to play with Madison a while. At first when we got there, she was still napping. When she woke up and my brother brought her downstairs, she didn't know who we were. It has been so long since we were there. It did hurt that she didn't remember us, but after a while, she became comfortable. She started talking, and laughing and playing. I tend to think the presents has something to do with that though. We will be going down more often, I don't want her to not know us or remember us. Right when we were getting ready to leave, she gave Greg a hug, then came over to give me a hug, she got on my lap, and started playing with my necklace, It has 3 charms on it. one is my fathers thumb print, one is my mothers thumb print, and the last is a locket Greg got me 2 years ago for Christmas. I told her they are grandma and grandpas finger prints, and they love her very much. If mom and dad were here, they would be so very proud of her. I swear that kid is so smart. She is only 2 years old, knows how to count, knows her colors, when she is playing with her toys, she even puts them away when she wants to play with something else.

My sister in law is doing well also. The procedure Friday went very well. We talked about that a little today also. The Dr said she has to stay on bed rest for 2 weeks then she should be able to return to work. She is showing a little bit. Madison knows she is going to have a baby brother, and I can already tell, they are going to have their hands full with one very jealous little girl.

Man whats going on?????

I must say Friday was a really crazy day. I go to work as usual, everything seemed to be going fine. Not a whole lot of our work, but plenty of day shifts work we had to do. I was working, and someone came in from break and said the parking lot was full of fire trucks, cops, I mean it was light up like a CHRISTMAS TREE. It seemed like forever (although it was only about 20 minutes) that we found out a suspicious powder was discovered in an envelope. Work proceeded as usual in the building. Only those that were within 6 feet of the envelope were evacuated. After being there over 2 hours, everyone was given the all clear, and they to were back inside working. Here is a link to the news story. http://your4state.com/content/fulltext/?cid=14814 . I must add, they do know who sent it, the person put a address label on the envelope and even had their name and address inside with their donation to the particular organization.

It was payday, so on my lunch I had to go to the bank. I also had to grab something fast for dinner, so I went to McD's.

My sister in law was having surgery done to stitch her cervix, and I was worried about that all day today also. When I got home I found out everything went fine and the Dr was opptimistic that it will be a success.

Ya know how you sometimes get a feeling that something is really wrong, but you don't know what it is? Well I had that feeling really bad last night when I layed down in bed. I don't know what it was. Greg came home from work and started watching TV. ( normal) Dog was fine, he was sleeping beside me. I just don't know what it was. I was tossing and turning in bed, woke up enough to say hi to Greg and talk to him a few minutes. He asked me what was wrong, I was all over the bed and wouldn't stay still. Poor man ended up sleeping in the recliner, he didn't want to disturb me. Now I feel bad about that. I could understand if something was wrong, but as far as i know now, everything was fine, I just couldn't stay still and sleep. I was sleeping, but was kicking and hitting the air A LOT!!! I think I will go out and buy breakfast this morning for him having to sleep like that.

Tomorrow we will be going to my brothers to visit and also do the Christmas exchange. I am giving them my old laptop since my sister in law is on strict bed rest, and I will be helping them get that together and working. I will also get to play with I mean spoil our niece. I am excited about that.

I have also started to really think about doing foster care after I graduate in May. I am also looking into a program I recently heard about. There is a program where Ukrainian orphans visit for a few weeks. These children are up for adoption also, but the programs goal is to basically give the kids a break from the overcrowded orphanage. It does cost to participate in this program, but I feel it is for a good cause. This is the organization that deals with that...http://www.frontierhorizon.org/

2007 in review....

I honestly believe in order to improve the future, you must learn from the past. I know I just started blogging, but want to take a few minutes to reflect the past year.

January.
Mom recently passed away, so we were busy getting the condo ready to put on the market. I never realized how much stuff people accumulate over the years. I wasn't working, so I was able to spend a lot of time doing what I needed to do. It was a very depressing month.

February
AHHH the month of love. We had all the flooring replaced in the condo. then put it on the market on the 19th. Greg and I didn't really do a whole lot to celebrate Valentines day this year. I continue to watch my niece grow so fast.

March
I decide to go back to work. I couldn't handle staying at home all the time. I am used to working. ( wonder what I will do when I retire lol in ummm 35 years. This is also my birthday month. Greg and I both took off work.... but we had a bad snow so we stayed in and watched tv.

April.
Easter... We went to spend it with my brother. We were so blessed to be as a family that day. It is one of my fondest memories of the year. Madison had her first Easter Egg hunt... At 17 months old.. she would find an egg, pick it up.. and say what color is was. She only missed one... She is so smart. I was amazed. She knows her colors already.

May
Anniversary month... Well this month is another that flew by. The begining of the month, we signed a contract on the condo... Giving 1 week before closing. Yep. Greg and I were still there, and had 1 week to find a place, pack and move. We did find a wonderful how. It is 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, nice backyard for the dog.. but more than we want to pay for rent. But we are happy and we are together. Moving day... got up early, had everything packed and ready. Loaded the moving truck. and the other vehicles we were using. I drove the van. Got the the house, trying to hurry, closed the van door... but my hand was still in it. I never knew a door would totally latch closed when a body part is in the way. The following week was my anniversary, and Greg and I enjoyed a nice dinner at home. We didn't really want to go out to celebrate this year.

June.
The beginning of summer.. Not much happened. Greg spent many weekends at the dragstrip. Greg did run one weekend, and came in 3rd place. I was so happy and so very proud of him.

July
We had a few picnics with friends. We were both busy with work. Not much time to do anything else.

August
College started up again at the end of the month. So I was busy getting everything, including myself ready for that.

September
This is a very special month to me. It is Gregs birthday and also Madisons birthday.
They were having a party for Madison, and we of course went to that. It was wonderful to spend time with my brother, sister in law, and Madison. Early in the month, I went to my first Nascar race. I had a blast. This was part of Gregs birthday present. The second part of his present was going to see Gretchen Wilson in concert. This is by far the best month I have had this year.

October
College was in full swing, and work was busy. We didn't do anything for Halloween, we were both working. Although Gregs job has slowed down a lot. They are facing layoffs, and a drastic cut in hours.

November
Thanksgiving.. I made dinner and we invited friends over. We had a great time. Work for me was very busy. Greg was laid off 2 weeks, and is now only working 4 days a week. College was crazy. Lots of papers, had at least 2 due each week almost the whole semester.

December
Memorial service for our kids, and mom, dad and grandma. I look forward to this service each year. This is when I can celebrate Christmas with them. Christmas at home, I made dinner for Greg and I, and we also invited some people over. College has ended for the semester. I was so glad it was over.

Although it wasn't a totally fun filled year. It had its ups and downs. I am grateful for each and every day I have to spend with those I love. May 2008 bring more happiness and prosperity.