2008 in review...

As we prepare to enter 2009 I wanted to take a few minutes and reflect on 2008. This has been a year of many changes in my life. I graduated college with my AAS in Human Services. I became an aunt once again. I left one job and started another one. I completed foster care classes. I have made several wonderful friends. I have spent another year married to a wonderful husband. But most of all I have started going to church again. I don't make any new years resolutions, I don't feel it is right for me. I don't wait until a new year is about to start to make goals and try to challenge myself. I feel this needs to be done throughout the year. It is important to always keep an eye on yourself and your goals and always work toward ways to improve your life and the life of those around you.

Things I look forward to in 2009

Starting foster care... We still need to finish the homestudy and I have to go to the Drs for a physical.

Start working toward my BA degree in Social Work.

Continue going to church and strengthen my relationship with God.

AND buy a book written by another blogger... which can be pre ordered here

Merry Christmas. ( edited to add pics)

Merry Christmas everyone!!! I will try to post later today or tomorrow with pics from Christmas Day... If you really want to see Christmas pics before then... check out my entry from last Christmas.. all decorations are the same... Greg and I have opened our gifts... we each got a cowboys jersey... I got bedroom slippers and a ped egg.. he got socks and an Playstation 2 game... now we are getting ready to head to my brothers house.

EDITED TO ADD PICS!!!

WOW what a busy day. When we got home from my brothers house I finished dinner, we ate then we went to visit more friends this evening. Here are some pictures from today and yesterday.

In Memory of Mom....

I wanted to get this post out before tomorrow. I have gone through this time line for 2 years now. I know exactly what I was doing and what time 2 years ago today. I will share that with you all
Dec 24.
5AM-- got up, and started getting Madison's Christmas stuff together.( had to blow up a Dora ball pit thingy)

7AM-- Break time.. sat and drank coffee with mom and also ate breakfast.

9AM-- time for a shower and get dressed

10AM-- doing last minute things before my brother, sister in law and Madison came to moms for Christmas Eve. ( It was planned ahead of time that we do Christmas at moms house on Christmas Eve)

11AM-- Jimmy and them arrive. we exchange gifts, eat, talk, laugh, and play with Madison

2PM-- Jimmy and them leave. Mom and I lay down for a nap...

4PM-- I wake up, Greg was playing his xbox, mom was still sleeping

5PM-- I try to wake mom and ask her what she would like for dinner, she told me she didn't feel good and didn't want anything right yet

6PM-- I have checked on Mom several times, I do start getting worried.

7PM-- Mom calls me back to her room, says she is hot, fan is running on high, she wants to lay on tile floor to try to cool off,... she was not totally with it, I couldn't keep her awake. I start asking her to go to the ER, and she says no, she doesn't want to.

7:30 PM-- Mom is getting worse, I can't keep her awake at all, I decide its best to call the ambulance. Only thing she would say is about delivering Christmas gifts to the neighbors.

8PM-- They take mom to ER, I call Jimmy and let him know whats going on. I also deliver the gifts to the neighbors.

9PM-- I get to the ER.. Dr tells me mom is "very very sick". They did blood work and were doing more. They said she had an infection somewhere.

10PM-- The Dr says they are admitting her, by this time, mom was in severe pain... kept yelling " OUCH", she wouldn't respond to me or anyone else by this time. I call Jimmy to let him know what is going on. He comes to the hospital.

12AM-- Jimmy and I are talking while standing by mom. We are both really worried. They haven't got moms room ready yet, and said it may be a while longer. So we leave the hospital. we both tell mom we will see her in the morning and that we love her.

I go home, and try to get some sleep. Greg and I decided I would get up early, run to the hospital to see mom, come back, make Christmas dinner, and take Christmas to mom depending on how she felt.

Dec 25

8 AM-- I wake up and call the hospital, mom is in her room, but didn't answer the phone. I call and talk to the nurse. She said she just left moms room, gave mom her meds, which she took fine. She also said mom was up and talking to her. She asked if I wanted to talk to mom, I told her no, but to please let mom know I was on my way over and would be there soon.

830AM-- I get to the hospital, and couldn't remember what room mom was in so I had to ask. I got up to moms room, which was FULL of people. There was her nurse, a Dr, and several other people I have no clue who they were. The Dr came over and asked if I was related, I say yes, and she literally pulled me into the hall way. and told me mom had just passed away.

I totally lost it, I started screaming and crying. I managed to pull myself together to call Greg, and to call Jimmy. I was there what seemed like forever by myself with mom. I did talk to her, I cried, I hugged her. We decided we wanted an autopsy done to find out what happened. Even the Dr didn't know.


12PM-- we leave the hospital and head home. We all sat down, and talked, we knew what mom wanted. We gathered her life insurance. We notify the rest of the family.

3PM-- Jimmy left to go be with Denise and Madison for the remainder of Christmas.

4PM-- Through tears Greg and I opened our gifts. We each had 1 special gift from mom that neither of us know what it was. mine was a precious moments angel.

5pm-- We havent eaten anything so we knew we had to to, all I could manage to eat was a bowl of cereal.

after dinner, Greg and I talked, laughed, cried, and held each other. It was the worse Christmas anyone could ever imagine.


I miss mom more than words can describe. I thought it would get better or a little easier with time, but this year is so much harder than it was last year. Although last year I was on an anti depressant, and this year I ain't.

Dear Santa.....

I am so sure Santa reads blogs to... at least I hope. It is to late to send a letter to Santa so I am hoping he reads it here. I am sure if he Googles it he will find it.

Dear Santa,
I have been a very good girl this year. This year my Christmas list will be very short. You don't even have to stop at my house this year. All I want for Christmas is snow. Ya know that white stuff that falls from the sky... makes everything look so pretty, and makes all this cold weather more bearable. Thats all I want... let it snow let it snow let it snow...

Love
Roni

If anyone has any snow pictures... share them please... or better yet... help Santa bring me SNOW!!!!

This is FUNNY~~~ Elf Yourself.. Scott stlye

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

update on Memorial Service tonight....

Well after talking to the man that is in charge of the service this year... my time is being cut short...Therefore I had to cut out the poems I wanted to say... Please think about me and the families who will be attending this year.They don't even recognize my children that I lost because I was not able to carry them full term.. Also please pray for all families who have lost children way to early. This is now what I plan on saying... ( in front of about 250-300 people)

Good Evening. My name is Veronica Scott. First of all I would like to thank Brook Hill Church, for continuing this memorial service after my parents and grandmother passed away. 18 years ago my father organized the first interfaith memorial service for families of deceased children. Some of you may already know the story, but for those who are attending for the first time, I would like to share this. There was a lady my father worked with, who lost her young son. She asked my father if he knew of anyplace that held a memorial service for families who have lost children. Dad did a lot of research and couldn’t find any. He decided to organize one. He made all the preparations, and the first service was held the second Thursday in December of 1990. There were about 20 people in attendance. My mom and grandmother baked cookies, made cakes, and took care of all the refreshments. They did this each year. Dad would work on it all year long, and start final preparations in September. Mom and Grandma would start baking on Black Friday each year. In July 2004 dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. One of dads final concerns was to insure that this service would continue. Brook Hill assured him that it would and he passed away Sept. 8 2004. Grandma passed away December 14, 2004 due to complications related to diabetes. December 2006, a week before Christmas, mom and I were having one of our many conversations about how we missed dad and grandma. She then told me all she wanted for Christmas was to be reunited with them. Christmas morning my mother received her only Christmas wish. She was reunited with my father and her mother.

Memorial Service .......

It is that time of year again for the memorial service for families that have lost children. They are once again doing a little memorial at the begining for dad, mom and grandma. I will be speaking to the families and lighting a candle in their memory. This is what I have prepared for this year...

Good Evening. My name is Veronica Scott. First of all I would like to thank Brook Hill Church, for continuing this memorial service after my parents and grandmother passed away. 18 years ago my father organized the first interfaith memorial service for families of deceased children. Some of you may already know the story, but for those who are attending for the first time, I would like to share this. There was a lady my father worked with, who lost her young son. She asked my father if he knew of anyplace that held a memorial service for families who have lost children. Dad did a lot of research and couldn’t find any. He decided to organize one. He made all the preparations, and the first service was held the second Thursday in December of 1990. There were about 20 people in attendance. My mom and grandmother baked cookies, made cakes, and took care of all the refreshments. They did this each year. Dad would work on it all year long, and start final preparations in September. Mom and Grandma would start baking on Black Friday each year. In July 2004 dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. One of dads final concerns was to insure that this service would continue. Brook Hill assured him that it would and he passed away Sept. 8 2004. Grandma passed away December 14, 2004 due to complications related to diabetes. December 2006, a week before Christmas, mom and I were having one of our many conversations about how we missed dad and grandma. She then told me all she wanted for Christmas was to be reunited with them. Christmas morning my mother received her only Christmas wish. She was reunited with my father and her mother. I would like to share 2 poems with you all tonight.

I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday and days before that too,
I think of you in silence I often speak your name
All I have are memories and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake with which I’ll never part
God has you in His keeping I have you in my heart.
As We Look Back

As we look back over time
We find ourselves wondering .....
Did we remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for us?
For all the times you were by our sides
To help and support us .....
To celebrate our successes
To understand our problems
And accept our defeats?
Or for teaching us by your example,
The value of hard work, good judgement,
Courage and integrity?
We wonder if we ever thanked you
For the sacrifices you made.
To let us have the very best?
And for the simple things
Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?
If we have forgotten to show our
Gratitude enough for all the things you did,
We're thanking you now.
And we are hoping you knew all along,
How much you meant to us.