Saturday, March 29, 2008

Emotional Entry.......

I want you to read this post....then close your eyes and imagine it is a story in YOUR life. You have been with the one you love for many years. You each get to start your day. You head off to your job, while you loved one heads off to theirs. You always call each other during your lunch, and on the way home. One day at lunch, that call never comes, you begin to worry a little. They may have gotten busy, not able to take their lunch. One your way home, you continue to call, they don't answer. The worry begins to build. You begin to frantically call your shared friends, they haven't heard anything either. You sit down in your living room, turn on TV, which happens to be showing the local news. Right there before your eyes,the images on the tv screen are of a bad accident from this morning. The images are horrendous. There were fatalities. Then up on the screen, right then, a picture of the love of your life. Now close your eyes and imagine how you would feel.... go ahead....

This is based on a true story of a young man who lives in Florida. Eric Breidenbaugh.His partner was taking his parents in a plane. Click on the link to hear his story. He and his partner have been together 6 years. He wasn't given any information about the accident because he wasn't a "family" member!!! Eric knew something had happened, but was told they couldn't tell him anything.This is absurd! No they weren't married, not that they didn't want to, but because they couldn't get married!! The only reason they couldn't get married is because they are gay. Eric learned of his partners death through watching the local news.

Gay and lesbian couples face these and many other challenges each and every day. They can't talk to the hospital to get information if one is in for care. They can't talk to mortgage companies, insurance companies.If one of the partners die, they may loose everything they have worked so hard as a couple to build. If both names aren't on the mortgage, they will loose their home. Insurance companies won't talk to them. They won't collect their partners social security. They will in fact loose everything. How is this right? How can our society treat people like this. It angers me so much.

I think about the challenges my husband and I had to cross,especially after we first got married almost 17 years ago. The stares we received, the comments made by people who we didn't know. I then think about my life, when people find out I am Bi, the looks, the comments, the almost immediate distance. I get this not only from people who are straight, but also people who are gay and lesbian. When will this hatred stop? I am Bi, but as of right now, I choose not to live that lifestyle, not because of peoples reaction, but because of my deep relationship with my husband. Its not that he doesn't know, he does know I am Bi, and he has supported me from day 1. I have no desire to even think about entering another relationship. I am so very happy with him. I can't imagine a life more happy, more complete than it is at this moment.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Happy Birthday !!

Things are getting better here. Greg goes back to work Monday finally. The agency where i do my internship asked me to have my resume on their desk by 830 Monday morning. I really hope to get hired there. It is a wonderful place to work. The other employees are wonderful. Today is my birthday, and so far it is going well. I have dinner in the oven early because we are going to another friends house to watch the Nascar race later today. I did have a little cry early this morning. I really miss my parents and my grandmother. I feel a little better now, I know they are always with me in my heart. All I want for my birthday is snow. I know it sounds crazy, but I love snow. I love to sit with a cup of coffee and look out the window and watch it come down. But today is sunny and in the 40's here. We haven't really had any snow this year, which is very unusual. Maybe for Easter we can have snow.....

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Hard Times... hard times

I am so tired. I am doing my internship as well as working. I get up in the morning drink my coffee, check my email, and listen to the news on TV. I leave the house about 8 am, come home for lunch, then out the door to work. I get home a little after 8. Then I have to get things ready for the next day. Take my shower, set the coffee pot, feed the dog, get clothes layed out. Then I try to be in bed by 1030 or so. I still have a month and a half of this. top it all off Greg is out of work right now because of his knee. He is miserable, he isn't used to just sitting around all day. He isn't getting paid for his time off right now, not until the Dr fills out the paper work. Then his job told him today he needs another paper filled out by a different Dr. He should eventually get paid for the time he is off, but we don't know when that will be.

My birthday is coming up this weekend, all I want is SNOW. I can't remember the last time we didn't have snow on my birthday.... this year they aren't even calling for snow. I know it is an odd request... but its something I love, and doesn't require money. It is so hard on me right now, I am really missing mom and dad. I never dreamt of the day my parents wouldn't be around. SO many things going on and they aren't here to share it with. I graduate in 2 months... something both mom and dad were very proud of me for.

I know I am just ranting right now, and I am sorry about that. I am just frustrated right now and don't know what to do. It seems my world is crumbling around me and I can't stop it.