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WOW I can't believe it has been almost a year since my last post. Greg and I are back together and are working things out. So much has happened in the past year. I have changed so much, and made many changes in my life. All for the better. Things are looking up again. We are taking things one day at a time. I finally have internet again, so I can start blogging and catching up on blogs I have missed. I am now working for a large retail chain, and have been for just over a year. I do like it, I love the people I work with. Although it isn't in my field I went to college for I am thankful to have a job. It has been a LONG 2 years but I am so glad  things are going so much better now. Marriage takes a LOT of work.... there are ups and downs, but at the end of the day every trial, every obstacle, every mountain that we climb, we do it together, we grow stronger for it, we become better people, better friends, and our love grows so much stronger for each other. I couldn't have gone through all I have without the help of some very close and very dear friends, so for that I thank you. And thank you to all those who have prayed and continue to pray for me and for us.

So much better.....

WOW I can't believe it has been a year since my nightmare started. So much has changed and for the better for me. I am still separated. But I am feeling good about myself now. I have lost 60 pounds so far :) YAY ME!!! I am working again finally, and have been for about 6 months now :)  I am talking to someone. He makes me very happy. I don't know what it is about him but I feel as I have known him for years. I am just waiting for the punch in the gut because things seem to good to be true. I feel like I am on cloud 9!!! I am really scared though. After going through everything I have the past 11 months I am so scared of being hurt again. I have finally come to peace with what has happened. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I am pleased about where it is now and where I hope it to lead.

today is part 1......

Well its been said I didn't have proof for adultery.... well as of right now I have plenty of proof.... they are right now signing a lease for an apartment. I have been threatened to leave "her man" alone... well ummm he is MY HUSBAND!!!! We are only separating for now, he knows it won't work out between them, he is still seeing me, and we know she is still seeing at least 2 other men. A lot of people are thinking this is Greg's "mid life crisis", and one day he will wake up and realize this and want to come back to me where he belongs. He keeps telling me he loves me, he cares about me, he wants to help me in ANY way I need help. This is just a totally messed up situation and I sure wish the whore would follow through with her threats and go back to mrytle beach, where she has yet another man. I just don't think Greg understands everything he is throwing away... not only with me but also with our God daughter.... he will NOT see her anymore if the whore is around. Kaylee cries and whines wanting her "uncle Greg", and its up to me to explain to her that he isn't here, I have tried to tell her he is working and she said "no he not".... She has said other things about him that totally tear me apart.... she may only be 3 years old, but she understands so much more than we give her credit for.

moving......

So I will be moving into an apartment in about 3 weeks.... Greg is moving out next weekend. He promises to keep in touch, he will come see me, and call me and help me in any way he can. He has said that the other woman can't and won't keep him away from me. This is so hard on me, but I do look forward to our time together. After talking to Greg while he was here for 2 days, I am very hopeful that this will only be temporary, that one day soon we will be totally back together again. I do still love him, and he tells me he still loves me. Before he left yesterday morning, he held me close in his arms.... kissed me, hugged me and told me he will always love me. I just wish I totally understood what he is feeling and thinking. He held me so long like he didn't want to let me go, it felt so good. I know next weekend will be the hardest, when he moves his things out of the house, but I am also thinking and remembering everything he has said to me recently. I KNOW we will be back together fully.... its just a matter of time... and that is what I am holding onto right now.

changes......

Greg and I are now separating. He is having an affair with someone he works with, I have plenty of proof, and have talked to a lawyer. He has been staying here with me, having marital relations with me, and then going to see her and have an affair. They have been staying at a hotel not in the state in order to try to avoid being found out. This is all coming out of his mouth. He wants us BOTH!!!! the lawyer has advised me on what I need to do, and I plan on carrying out everything that was told to me. We have agreed on everything, so its only a matter of getting the paperwork in the courts and signing them. I am now in the process of looking for a job, and looking for an apartment for me and the dog. Please keep the prayers coming..... somewhere out there is a man just waiting on me.

where are you???? LOTS of updates.

WOW I can't believe I have been away from blogging for so long!! So much has been going on, I honestly haven't had time to do much of anything. I continue to watch Kaylee during the week, plus I am also working a second shift job that we work anywhere between 8 and 10 hours a night. I have also reconnected to several of my cousins :) We are planning a reunion on August and I am so excited about it. Our God daughter Kaylee is going to be a BIG sister!!!!! baby is due in August :) I do continue to check in on several blogs, although I don't always have time to comment. I started working in January, and there are already talks of us getting laid off within the next few months. From what I hear they are starting to do this next week. If I get laid off again, I am going to seriously look into doing daycare in my home. I do update more often on facebook though, even if I don't have time to blog. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I need to do. My first priority I want to do is start looking for a new home church. I really enjoy the church I have gone to for years, but with the price of gas, and the church being a 30 minute drive, its time to start looking around again. I have noticed personally when I am actively going to church and in church activities my life seems so much better. I am happier, and have such a sense of personal growth and well being. I have in the past few years started to push God out of my life, and I realize now I not only need him in my life, but I desperately want him in my life and heart again. There has also been the problem of my weight that has been a burden in many ways in my life. I am doing a lot of research and talking to people about getting the lap-band surgery in order to help me. so if anyone has any advice or has had that done, please either leave a comment, or email me, or even look me up on facebook and let me know anything and everything you know about this. I really need to start updating my blog more....

On this day many moons ago... REPOST

Here we are again, another year. My mom would tell me the story of when I was born each and every year. Oh how I wish I could hear it one more time from her. Each year it was the same... It all started March 15, 1973 at around 530 AM. mom woke up having slight contractions, her mother ( my grandma) was visiting them waiting on the birth. Dad always told everyone they were having a little blonde hair blue eyed little girl. Everyone told dad he was wrong, the way mom was carrying the child, it was a boy. Mom got up, and started cleaning house. Made breakfast and lunch for everyone. Out in the back yard their dog was also delivering puppies under the shed. Dad didn't go to work that day. At around 4pm the contractions started getting stronger and more frequent so they called the Dr, who told them to go ahead and head to the hospital. Everyone got their showers and got ready. They prepared and ate a nice steak dinner. After dinner was done, and dishes were washed and put away dad went out to the shed to check on the pups. He brought them and momma in the house. Being the middle of March it was very cold outside still. At around 930 PM the all got ready and went to the hospital. The nurses told dad and grandma they may want to go home and get some rest, that the baby would not be delivered until sometime the next day. Mom told them she was not going to lay there all night having these contractions all night, the baby would be delivered soon. The nurses laughed at her, she was a first time mom, what did she know??? At 12 47 AM on March 16th a tiny little girl was born. Dad carried the baby out to the waiting room to show her off. Everyone asked how "he" was. Dad smiled wide and told them " She is doing great. I got my blonde hair blue eyed baby girl". They didn't believe him at all, dad was known as a jokester. They all had to see for themselves.. sure enough a blonde hair, blue eyed baby girl weighing 5 pounds and 12 ounces and 19 inches long was finally here, she was due the end of February. They named her Veronica Michelle.

This was the pregnancy that had to be hidden for many months. Mom was in nursing school, soon to graduate. Students were not allowed to have children. She was able to hide it until right after she took the Maryland State Boards exam and passed.( the other students knew, and then the state picked one topic to test on, that year it just happened to be on OB/GYN, mom had the answers sitting right there with her)