Friday, February 29, 2008

A Day To Remember.

I know its been a while since I last blogged. I am now doing my internship, plus working. I don't have a lot of time for much more than that. I love the place I am doing my internship at, the only thing I hate about it is I don't get to see Greg much anymore during the week. I really miss our mornings together, and out nights when we get home from work. We were always watching tv, talking, or something, but we were always together and that made me happy. I am basically working 12 hours a day now, so that doesn't leave much time for sleep, shower, and other stuff that I need to do.

June 14, 2000
On June 13th, I had my third blood work done to determine if I was pregnant. It was definatly positive. The numbers looked wonderful. I had to wait 3 weeks before I would get my first sonogram done. A day that would never happen.
June 14th I went to work as usual. A little while after lunch I found I was starting to bleed. I began to worry and totally freak out. Greg and I left work and went straight to the hospital. One day after my final pregnancy test, I was loosing our children.

May 17, 2002
One another note.... I do read other peoples blogs, and with this being leap day, many are using it as a day to remember. A day to remember pregnancys that ended way to soon, and the children we loved and dearly miss. 7 years ago I was pregnant with twins. That pregnancy ended when I was only 5 weeks. 5 years ago,almost 6 years ago, I was pregnant with triplets. That also ended in miscarriage. I remember that day all to well.

Our refridgerator went up, so Greg and I went pricing some to replace it. I was feeling fine, a little tired, but otherwise I was fine. We went to one store, and didnt see one we liked. I felt something strange, and discovered I was bleeding. We decided to go home so I could rest and call my Dr. By the time we got home I was having really strong and hurtful cramps. It was then that I lost 2 of out babies. My Dr wanted to see me, We made the 45 minute trip to my Dr. He did a sonogram and blood work. I was ordered to bed rest. The last baby was close to where one I lost was, and the Dr was concerned I would loose that one. I went home and went straight to bed. I remained there, only getting up for the bathroom, or going to lay on the couch. Where ever I was, I was laying down.

On May 18th,( also our wedding anniversary) That evening, I began to have what I thought were cramps again. I was starting to get worried, scared, frightened. I didn't want to face what was going on with my body. Just like the day before, the cramps were really bad. I could time them, and they were consistant. Every 2-3 minutes. They would last about a minute and a half. This vicious cycle repeated many times.

May 19th, 1:30 A.M.
The pregnancy was over. I lost our last child.

I know there are some people who don't think of having a misscarriage as loosing a child, but within those 3 days, I lost our children. 2 girls, Alisha Nichole and Katrina Rennee, and our son Greg Jr.

They were a part of me, and my wonderful husband. I will never forget how they looked... yes they had already developed arms, legs, a head and torso.

I have lost a total of 5 children.... 2 of whom was really early in the pregnancy. I guess since I carried the triplets longer, and had so many of the pregnancy stuff, It affected me a lot more and a lot harder. My last pregnancy I had "morning" sickness all the time except in the morning. My belly was growing, and I would spend countless hours talking to them.

It is hard to imagine what my life would be like had my children survived. 2 kids almost 8 and 3 kids almost 6. I do think of my children a lot, asking those all to familiar questions..... "what if...."

I can only wonder and dream....

Friday, February 15, 2008

Valentines Day

It was a good day. Greg surprised me with gifts in my van while I was at work. I got him a dixie horn for his truck ( something he wanted for a while now), I also took balloons and a little teddy bear and put in his truck at his job. This is something we have done for each other for years now. We take things to each others vehicle while at work. What a great surprise during break or when we get off work.

I took him to the Drs on Wed. They did a chest xray-- found an enlarged heart. They are doing a breathing test right now. I am waiting on him to get home now.

I am still having trouble getting into an internship. I called another place today to try to set an interview up on Monday. Just have to wait and see I guess. My next semi big "adventure" is next friday when I have a cyst removed from my neck. It will be sent off and biopsied.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Primary Elections

Well today was primary elections. The weather was horrible. It was snowing, sleeting, and freezing rain almost all day today. I did make sure I was able to vote before I went to work today. I always hear people complain about what is happening with the government, but when asked, they don't even vote. What????? People want to complain about something, they have a say in, but they make excuses as to why they don't go out and vote. When I went today, I was there less than 5 minutes. There was no line, I was in and out. It took longer to park the van, than it did to cast my ballot. The results aren't in yet, the polls stayed open an extra 90 minutes because of the weather.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Happy Birthday!!!!

Today is my mothers birthday. She would have been 57 years old today. She is one person I will always consider my best friend. There were many many times when we would sit and talk for hours on end. We talked about anything and everything. There was nothing I couldn't tell her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her. I miss her so much.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Almost Better

Well I am feeling a lot better today finally. I haven't had a fever today. I tried to do a little laundry and cleaning house. I think I was doing to much to soon, I started to get a migrane headache. I hope I start feeling a lot better soon, and stay that way. With the weather the way it is, I just don't know. I had to take 2 days off work, and that is really going to hurt my paycheck. I have off on the 13th with Greg for his Drs. appointment, then the following Friday I am off because I am having a cyst removed from my neck. I am really worried about that for some reason. I just need to do things to keep my mind off of it.

I hate missing work, I feel so guilty when I am not there. I guess after being so sick, it will take me a few days to build my energy back up to where it should be. I was also able to eat today finally. Now to get rid of my cough and my headache and I will be good to go for the night.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Sickness season

I have been sick almost a week now. I have been trying to take over the counter stuff for it, but ended up today going to urgent care. I found out I have bronchitis and the flu. I have been running a fever on and off all weekend. I have no energy and my whole body aches. They did give me some antibiotics and some cough syrup, so hopefully I will start to feel better soon.

I am still waiting to work on my internship. I am going to interview at Head Start for that. I should be able to finish before May, so I can still graduate. I am also starting to look for a job for after I finish. There is one juvinille facility that is hiring( they are getting ready to reopen). I downloaded the application and am in the process of filling it out.

One thing I did accomplish this weekend was taxes. Now I don't have to worry about it for another year.

Will update again when I am feeling better.