Friday, February 29, 2008

A Day To Remember.

I know its been a while since I last blogged. I am now doing my internship, plus working. I don't have a lot of time for much more than that. I love the place I am doing my internship at, the only thing I hate about it is I don't get to see Greg much anymore during the week. I really miss our mornings together, and out nights when we get home from work. We were always watching tv, talking, or something, but we were always together and that made me happy. I am basically working 12 hours a day now, so that doesn't leave much time for sleep, shower, and other stuff that I need to do.

June 14, 2000
On June 13th, I had my third blood work done to determine if I was pregnant. It was definatly positive. The numbers looked wonderful. I had to wait 3 weeks before I would get my first sonogram done. A day that would never happen.
June 14th I went to work as usual. A little while after lunch I found I was starting to bleed. I began to worry and totally freak out. Greg and I left work and went straight to the hospital. One day after my final pregnancy test, I was loosing our children.

May 17, 2002
One another note.... I do read other peoples blogs, and with this being leap day, many are using it as a day to remember. A day to remember pregnancys that ended way to soon, and the children we loved and dearly miss. 7 years ago I was pregnant with twins. That pregnancy ended when I was only 5 weeks. 5 years ago,almost 6 years ago, I was pregnant with triplets. That also ended in miscarriage. I remember that day all to well.

Our refridgerator went up, so Greg and I went pricing some to replace it. I was feeling fine, a little tired, but otherwise I was fine. We went to one store, and didnt see one we liked. I felt something strange, and discovered I was bleeding. We decided to go home so I could rest and call my Dr. By the time we got home I was having really strong and hurtful cramps. It was then that I lost 2 of out babies. My Dr wanted to see me, We made the 45 minute trip to my Dr. He did a sonogram and blood work. I was ordered to bed rest. The last baby was close to where one I lost was, and the Dr was concerned I would loose that one. I went home and went straight to bed. I remained there, only getting up for the bathroom, or going to lay on the couch. Where ever I was, I was laying down.

On May 18th,( also our wedding anniversary) That evening, I began to have what I thought were cramps again. I was starting to get worried, scared, frightened. I didn't want to face what was going on with my body. Just like the day before, the cramps were really bad. I could time them, and they were consistant. Every 2-3 minutes. They would last about a minute and a half. This vicious cycle repeated many times.

May 19th, 1:30 A.M.
The pregnancy was over. I lost our last child.

I know there are some people who don't think of having a misscarriage as loosing a child, but within those 3 days, I lost our children. 2 girls, Alisha Nichole and Katrina Rennee, and our son Greg Jr.

They were a part of me, and my wonderful husband. I will never forget how they looked... yes they had already developed arms, legs, a head and torso.

I have lost a total of 5 children.... 2 of whom was really early in the pregnancy. I guess since I carried the triplets longer, and had so many of the pregnancy stuff, It affected me a lot more and a lot harder. My last pregnancy I had "morning" sickness all the time except in the morning. My belly was growing, and I would spend countless hours talking to them.

It is hard to imagine what my life would be like had my children survived. 2 kids almost 8 and 3 kids almost 6. I do think of my children a lot, asking those all to familiar questions..... "what if...."

I can only wonder and dream....

1 comment:

nailgirl said...

Just poppin in to say hi again. I am so so sorry for your loss. I take it that you guys aren't going to be trying again?
Hugs Denise